Welcome to GuyMalone.com
The below is combined from
several sources. Please include my url when pasting from here.
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people. M&M's is not giving away free candy. Coke either. You can relax - there is never a need to pass anything on "just in case it's true." It's not. No software program has ever been invented to "track" e-mail. If one is, PLEASE DON'T send it to me.
2. Procter and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme. In fact, at least twice they have sued competing distributors for slanderously perpetuating this rumor, just so that you will buy your toilet paper from them. (Source: http://www.pg.com - click "newsroom" and enter "satan" in the search field. See also http://www.sallyjr.com's FAQ. "Source..." Hmmm, what a concept.)
3. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans.
No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a
friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing
the kidney-theft ring stories, please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.html. And,
I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for
actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None
have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your
6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it from an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with actual viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com . And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. You cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email; you have to download..ya know, like, a FILE! And if a stranger sends you a file, don't open it! If a friend sends you an attachment, but no personal note in the e-mail, ESPECIALLY don;t open it, as many virus are spread by using the infected user's address book.
7. There is no gang initiation plot to murder
any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night
without lights. And especially don't tell me it's unsafe to drive with my window down
because of the bogus Spunkball threat.
9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. Use the COPY & PASTE feature! It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the >>> that begins each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it. (And please delete my e-mail address from anything that you cc:, spammers collect addresses this way. I gave YOU my e-mail address, and like my telephone number, don't necessarily need it passed around to everyone else whom you may contact. Learn what "bcc:" does, grasshopper.)
10. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman,
etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time
and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He
apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
12. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley. And I know this is a touchy one for some of you, as you and you alone know your relationship with the Almighty, but I will not go to hell or suffer some catastrophic event for breaking the prayer chain.
13. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the petition is complaining about.
14. IBM is not giving away free computers
because Netscape bought AOL.
16. Neither the GAP nor Abercrombie & Fitch
are giving away free clothes or gift certificates.
18. Forgive my saying so, but missing children are best
left to milk cartons and Federal Law enforcement agencies.
20. As to the Gas-Out, before last year's, I was paying $1.29 for 93 octane. This year, I'm paying $1.70. Thanks for nothing.
Bottom Line, composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false. ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true. And just FYI, the Internet is not an infinite resource - the forwarding of a message to your entire address book clogs up telephone lines, resulting in higher costs and poor performance for every ISP, as well as busy signals, "net congestion," and slower surfing speeds for all of us. Some commonly forwarded stories are libelous or slanderous even, and one should verify anything that involves a named person or organization before "passing it on." And really, all my teachers told me not to do that anyway, even if was true.
So, "Copy THIS, and Send It To Everyone You Know !" If you do not have the time to waste by sending it back to me, I'll still feel pretty secure, and understand that you really do love me though.
There. Somebody had to say it.
The above is combined from several sources, and may be highlighted and pasted into a fresh e-mail from http://www.guymalone.com/thetruth.htm