On Becoming A Man / Copyright 2002 guymalone.com

Part 4 - Finale. Now it begins...

On Becoming A Man

It's not that different really.
The days are just as long, only they tire you out more,
and the nights are still scary when you're all alone.
It's a different kind of loneliness though,
A very different kind of loneliness.

Having fun costs more money, and keeping the job
that pays for it all only makes things worse.
Trust me on that one - driving's the same way.

No, it's definitely not what I'd imagined...

You know how different being twelve is from being eleven?
Well, the difference between 21 and 22 is about ten of those years,
except somehow you sleep through a lot more of it.
That's another thing - you feel age.
Your body actually shuts down bit by bit
sometimes when you go too long without taking your vitamins.
And I used to hate taking baths... now they're a luxury. Naps, too.

Occasionally, the air seems sweeter, but only to those who remember
to appreciate such things - to be thankful for every breath.
Oh - and you never do "find your niche."
You have to carve your own.

Probably the worst part is, you don't even realize that you've even grown up yet,
when all of a sudden you realize that you're growing old...

However, chocolate marshmallow ice cream still brings a smile
- no matter what - and blowing soap bubbles
is still the best form of cheap entertainment.
That never changes!

I'm not sorry I grew up though, I just wish I hadn't been in such a damn hurry,
because once it begins, it happens mercilessly,
and not all at once either, but every day, for the rest of your life.
Only hard work ever makes things fun again.

There will always be a little boy inside me though,
refusing to grow up, refusing to surrender to the "adult" world.
Whether he's afraid or just very, very wise
I don't know.

Actually, the biggest difference is that you no longer take
your truest friends for granted; for slowly - slowly - you realize...
They are all you will ever have.

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